So I've been thinking for a while about people who are a social butterfly or has some kind of small to big fame on the internet and I just feel like that's such a sad "dream" to follow. Like for what reason do we write posts, make art to showcase in such a influencer way or make videos? I want to do some of it, but it just feels like a lot of people do it for instant short fame and I know for myself it is tearing me apart mentally and bodily to even try to achieve that instant short fame. Like why are we so willing to torture us or humiliate us in any way just for fame? It's been a tough month with a lot of thoughts and things to do, that I hope I won't fall apart entirely. Sometimes it feels like I just get worse and worse. I hope I manage to do choices where I will become better mentally and bodily before hitting a wall.
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May 2024
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