Was actually thinking of doing some drawings of an old show I used to watch, but I ended up feeling unmotivated and sluggish to even start drawing. As well I managed to cause problem for my back so I barely can do anything right now. Hopefully it goes away faster this time.
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Another month flew by and I've been lately hooked on watching anime again that I decided to not only finish Haikyu!! (a volleyball anime) but finally got myself to watch My Hero Academia. I have been putting a lot of movies and series on hold mainly because I wish to do fanart at the same time, just like many others do, but I also feel overwhelmed by the fact I feel I suck at doing fanart, especially digital. I want to evolve, but it's kind of difficult since I just somehow end up not doing it, procrastinating kind of. Probably because I don't have my drawing tablet with me in front of the tv. But anyway, I try to find what I like to do so I can feel less awful about myself when doing any kind of creations.
Some days you just feel like CREATE everything and then next is like, what the fuck do I do now? And this one is kind of like the I can't create what I wanted, but here is something I at least made.
I've been working and learning to sculpt in clay. Some were a nice creation, some were not so well made. But I am learning what works and what doesn't when sculpting and building up with clay, and then there is my imagination and patience that kinda goes out of the window sometimes. But I still made a few which I want to share. A Monstera leaf plate which was perfect for my cap opener snake. Experimented a little with the glaze with the details. Quite happy with how this turned out. And a cat bowl which our cat ordered since he spills so much around him, so hopefully this works to have him spill less out of the bowl. These drawings below are some of the projects I've made. Some failed, some I no longer wanted to have and most are just an attempt to learn anything that I used to dream of trying. This skull of a fox (I think) is the first sculpture I made in clay. Pretty happy with it and decided to just burn it without glazing it, since I couldn't chose a color and kinda wanted to know how an unglazed clay would look like. Pretty happy with it for my first try in sculpting.
April is here and it began with a shocker snowfall this week. Haven't felt well enough to get myself doing much since the weather and people around is a bit of everywhere where it shouldn't be.
Enjoy this last March drawing. Too tired to write nonsense about whatever. Starting to think over what the hell I want to do, again, for the 1000th time. And I'm hungry.
Been in a bit of a slump since I have so many ideas and yet it's difficult to get them out of my head and onto paper or other material I want to build them in. At the same time I'm overwhelmed that I want to start with all of these ideas at the same time, which I know I might not be able to finish because it end up being too much. Although I just want to showcase my creations I've created, I also want to appear to be or look more professional. But when I look at people how they present their stuff, also being experienced and educated kind of, I end up feeling I cannot reach that point, mainly because it's too much work for me to handle.
I kind of want to be in the level I am now, where you can appear professional by using what you have. Kinda rushing this since I cannot think of interesting good ideas to draw. Mostly because I want to experiment in other mediums right now. And I'm also a bit stuck in the show finished artworks, when I can also show the progress, but it's so much work to do.
Tried painting with watercolor pencils again, and kind of reminded me why I don't like them. It's a bit difficult to get the result you want without ruin the paper. It was an attempt at least.
Been a little too much to do this week so had difficulty to create anything, until now, last second.
This week has been quite mind melting with the ever so hated question; What are your goals (for the future)? Like as if I know, I still struggle with daily basic stuff. Made my first attempt at painting on canvas bag. Not really proud since I feel I can do better, but it's still a nice attempt for being able to try out painting on fabrics. I have had this as a "dream" for a long time since I found out you can hand paint on clothes, so have wanted for a long time but just haven't gotten myself to do it, until now.
Happy Valentines to you who celebrate it.
Last year I wrote something in my drawing book; Share your love with someone, may it be a significant other, family or pet(s) or even just yourself. You deserve to treat yourself to something, may it be food, sweets or drinks. And then watch something, sing, dance or create. But there are days when you feel lonely, especially when you lost someone close to you. And it's okay to cry if you need it. Some days you want to be alone and some days you need someone to talk to. It takes time to not get as affected by grief and sadness as the day you lose someone and you should allow yourself to take that time you need to process all your emotion at the same time you try to survive in this fucked up world. Felt like it was time to update an old background I had for my computer for a while. As well for other places like, youtube and my blog.
Bit bitter that the images for youtube banner is cropped off quite a lot and kind of difficult to get a good whole picture visibility without losing to much quality and size. Already February and I feel like I haven't done much as I would wish to. Gotten things in the way that I had promised myself to not do due to it being too stressful and that it's not my responsibility to do them. I need to practice to say; fix it yourself. Did manage a last minute painting to cram in today, even though I haven't felt overly motivated to paint, probably because other stuff got in the way. And I also have so many ideas I end up sitting and thinking; what do I start with.
Already one month has soon passed and I have so far managed to draw or paint something once a week. I hope to keep it up, so I can continue to evolve further in my skills like I've dreamed of.
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May 2024
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