I have struggled for many years with motivation, inspiration and having enough energy to do things. A lot of times I would often get stuck in 'the planning' stage where I would write and draw down like every idea I get and want to do and then I basically just stay there doing literally anything else than what I have written down or drawn that I want to make. And I've come to realize and as well known for long a time that one of the major reasons I haven't done anything or simply haven't had energy to do it is because my mental state was weak in pushing myself into it as well I would sit in front of the TV/computer just watching videos all day which would give me less motivational energy. I'm not saying that videos and movies is not good at all for you for whatever reason you need to come up with to excuse to needing it, but limiting it is a good thing. For example; I've realized limiting myself watching movies to the evening/night is much better for my mental health and energy, since watching movie and series and videos is my way of relaxing. Therefore I have much more time during the day doing things I need and want to do. I have also gotten help in figure this out, because I cannot figure anything out by myself if I don't know where to start, so therefore if you need help to change or find things out, getting help is the best thing you can do if it's a positive change for you. I have also been trying to lessen the 'perfection' thing when it comes to art, as well trying to stay away from social media where you very often end up comparing yourself to others, rather than trying to find your own niché and try to feel I've done my best, I like this kind of thought. It does takes time to shift you thought into it, but it's worth it since you start to feel more proud of yourself of what you've accomplished. These 2 paintings are actually very old, which I've tried to cover up with a new idea today. The background of the first painting I tried to cover up with the newer paint but it kind of did not wanting to work with me, since the old drawing is still seen through. So I got a spurt of inspirational energy and just painted an idea onto it with Posca pens. I have not been using Posca pens on a painting before like this, I've tried it on paper like many others but I just didn't fell for it. And for using it first time on canvas it turned out really well, liked the flat color style.
And then we have the other painting with the snake. This also is a old painting that is painted with old oil, which I cover up partly with Posca pens. So the flat color are the Posca and the swirly in the background is the old oil. However trying to cover old paint over with anything else is pain, since for some reason either the newer paint is not vibrant and covering well or each of the pens stroke takes away to line you just drew. So it was a bit of struggle but I like the end results.
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May 2024
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